Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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