Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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