Kiss
Puke
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
