The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
