My sheets look like a crime scene.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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