Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
