____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
