I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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