i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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