and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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