I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
