matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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