grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
