i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
