you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Never underestimate the power of titties
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize