Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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