The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
