dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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