I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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