don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
