hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
