currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
My vagina just recognized that song.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize