The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize