I am puke
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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