The maid of honor just puked.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
either way he was missing a nipple.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Also, beer. Big fan.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
