And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
