so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
