I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
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I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
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My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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