Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
