some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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