How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize