so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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