Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
