You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
