It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
