Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
