she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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