it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
