Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
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official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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