Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My cat gives me a boner
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you didnt know i had herpes?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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