I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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