I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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