Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
