I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Randomize
