i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
