I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
