it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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