ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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