i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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