New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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