Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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