Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
