absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
