is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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