Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
