i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
