so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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