ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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